I just want to talk to him
Hear his voice
I just was to hear him say my name.
I wonder if he feels the same.

There is an hourglass filled with roses
And as each petal dies I’m counting the time
I’m watching you fade
And there is nothing I can do to stop the clock
Or the tick
The sound of the tock
If I tried I would end up cut up from the shatter
Though I still attempt to cradle what’s left of us it always crumbles
The leaves always become dust and I can’t get back what really matters
I’m left bruised
And Beaten
Hurt and defeated
So instead of sitting and watching the seasons change
And us remain a never
I look away
I take the time and make it useful because loving someone halfway isn’t useful
I desired all of you
Like planet need sun
Like baby’s need mother
Like body’s need blood
I desired all of you
And as the petals kept falling
I could see that water would not rebirth the beautiful memories
they once were
picture present perfect
But now they are
captured pictured past and deserted
I closed my eyes and recreated our love
Wrote it down in stories
Read it to my heart every night
We are not compatible
Because somehow
We miss each other every time
But time is just a concept humans created
Compatible is for computers
And are story isn’t finished yet
but I definitely had to take a break from writing
because the tears were flowing more than the ink
and when the words did hit the paper
The wetness would smear the meaning
I mean like you could still see the fragmented sentences
But because they were blurred by the flood of my emotions you wouldn’t read it
the damp would be all you needed
To understand that
Our love isn’t ordinary but what’s normal anyway
Our love isn’t wrote about
But who’s determining what’s important
Our love can’t be only captured by the hourglass
Maybe I’ll have to get cut a few times
Expose my flesh to
Earths whispers
Let the wind speak to me
Before I can live in your garden
Until then
Every memory of us is collected in my head placed in a hourglass
Blood stained flower blossoms
And as it dies
I’m reminded
Of how the space
on top of the dead flowers
Is the air needed to grow
a new memory
a new us a
new rose
with more
You.

- so disclaimer I know I haven’t really been writing well posting because I have been writing, but that’s because I’m not sure if I’m good enough or if it’s reaching anyone so If you read this and like it I’m not asking you to reblog or like I’m asking you to talk to me about how it made you feel ask me what inspires it get to knows me as an artist.
It’s always love , Chaotic-Butterfly

(Source: )

Interact With Me! ūüôä

Ethiopia

Ethiopia
Under dimmest lights Ill still find you to be my guidance
I am submissive to your voice
It soothes
Keeps the heat in my blood warm
You’re leaving In a couple days
As the time passes I feel my self
Getting weaker
I hear my heart race for your companion
In the longest distance you’ll still be my prize to chase after
How is it that you make me feel beyond beautiful
I accepted me for myself a long time ago
But you take me as an equal
You call me beautiful
We are lucky to have each other
While continuing to have ourselves
You are leaving soon
And I can already feel my hands get numb
My Tongue become thick In my throat
I can feel my fist tighten
I’ll miss you
And no matter the distance you’ll still be worth running for
You’ll still be worth fighting For
If each of us landed on opposite ends of the earth
You would be worth traveling for
Euphoric waves of connection
Transcending emotion
I love you’s float to each other’s ears in harmony
Our heartbeats intertwine
We are music
We are poetry
We are love
When you leave
I’ll be here waiting patiently to fall back into the arms of compassion
Indulge in you who I desire
Become Self-gratified
Love and let love Multiply
Be happy
Let my glow radiate
Create sparks that can penetrate
The mind body and capture our souls
I’ll dive deep into your bliss
Conjured up in the core of the earth
I’ll love the heat
Love the burn
You are a king
I’m your queen
Each other is what we deserve
But you’re leaving
So until then I’ll write to you
Poems, Letters, Songs
You’ll read them and in that moment will be in each other’s thoughts
In each other’s fingertips my pen
Onto paper
My paper into your hands
Our hearts together strong

(Source: )

It’s starting
There it goes
I can hear it
My pulse begins to rattle inside my chest
Shaking as if an earthquake has just erupted inside my belly
My hands began to tremble and my eyes are no longer clear
But blurred with confusions
How does my mind take over my life like this
How does it go from zero to
One hundred so quick
How can everything feel like it’s weighing in on me
I am human
But part of me feels like I don’t belong on earth
It’s starting
here it goes
The breathing gets lighter but harder
Oxygen seems to be disappearing
Look around
Grab hold onto something
Tug at your clothes
Cry
Scream
Wait you can’t
My eyes started to close and all I could see flashing was
Her hand
His hand
Her heart
His hurt
Blood
Red
Black
Here it comes
There it goes
How does these memories have nothing to do with the issue that causes this attack but they flood into
Remembrance EveryTime I go NUMB
EVERY TIME I WANT TO FEEL AND CANT
I Blame them
I Blame myself
I am human
But why is it
That my body malfunctions
As if I was a robot
Crafted by the devil
I squeeze my skin
Pinch till it hurts
Beg for it to hurt
Everything’s in slow motion
And then I can hear
Her yell
His shout
Spit
Sweat
Dim
Lights
I am at my weakest state when I submit to my fears
Allow them to control my actions
I am at my most vulnerable state
When I allow others ability to hurt me
Cause me to jump off the cliff
I never wanted to stand on top of in the first place
It’s like I allow them to chain me to an anchor
And Place me into the water
It’s like I don’t even try to hold my breath.
My tongue is tingling
My toes are tapping
My fingers are cold
Here it comes
I can feel it
Moving up my limbs
Inching it’s way through my spine
Biting down on my vocal cords
Collapsing my sanity
Dragging me through the pits of hell
Shhh
If your silent enough
You can hear the tears hit the ground
And as soon as it’s over They dry up
I’ll stand up
And you’ll never know where the bruises came from
You’ll never know how many there were that night
And then like a flower
Waiting for it’s turn
To be beautiful
To someone
Anyone again
I’ll bloom and shrivel
and die and blossom
But for now
Here it comes
There it Goes
I’ll whisper Breathe
Breathe
………..Fucking Breathe
FUCK!
IT
.PANIC.

(Source: )

Dear Me Inside Of Her

I refuse to watch sunsets alone
I refuse to let brokenness seep through my pores
To wear sadness as a robe
Cloaked in depression
I promise
I promise to teach my daughter not to let heartbreak break her only emotion that will ever make her whole
I will teach my daughter that love is tied in lessons and mistakes
love is taught through trouble and heartache
You will be in love and you will ever fall out
You will remained chained to those feeling but as long as you don’t allow them to sink you
As long as you use them to keep you
Don’t ever think Jesus left you
Though he will test you
float
Walk the water
Just don’t look back
I refuse to remain cold
Cornered to myself
Cut too deep
And let negativity be the only thoughts I think
I promise this life ain’t for me
Imma tell mini me
that
Things will get easier
Just let time run it’s course
Burry regrets because they made you who you are
Smile when things get to tough
Or people try to tell you can’t
Prove them wrong
Dream and never think the dream is to big
Because reality is a made up definition of the world
You’re eyes filled with stories
And your hands strong enough to craft Cures And Blessings
But Your Head Will Conjure Up Your Future And That My Dear Can Never Stop Flowing With Thoughts
I refuse to let my imperfections
Constrain Me
I refuse to try and perfect something that is already perfect
I’ll scrape away the mud and the dirt
She Will Never Feel Alone
I promise to tell her everything because my secrets will set her free
I will tell her
She Will Know
About Pillows Stained By Tears
Bruises That Still Appear
Mended Friendships
That Mended Me
Aching Pains
Shaky hands
And his smile that
That I can still see when I close my eyes
Sleepless Night
I will assure her when she gets weary
Somebody is going to love every flaw on her body
They will kiss her so many times
That her lips will began to tremble
When hey are cold because
The warmth will seem like the antidote
To her emptiness
Don’t let them get away
But don’t mistake lust
For trust
Or
Lies
For Love
& please my daughter
Refuse to let anyone steal your happiness
You are mine
I promise to remind her
Promise to guide her
Because I’m am her and she is me

(Source: )

"

God the first time we had sex was amazing
I still replay the night
I still see your face
I still can sense the newness of bodies
Your skin was so precious
Your landscape made sculptures look like amateurs built them

You were Devine,
You were mine in that moment
We didn’t have a commitment
but the way you made me feel
I knew that I would get addicted


God the first time we had sex
I didn’t even know if I would like it
I was nervous And timid
God the first time, was not really the first time but when we finally let go
I felt my stomach tighten
I saw your eyes lighten
I loved the way you paused surprised

Yes. 1. I couldn’t breathe
Yes. 2. My eyes were open
Yes. 3. You didn’t stop
Yes. 4. You looked at me
Yes. 5. CLIMAX

GOD The first time we had sex

Rivers flowing of ecstasy
I now have amazing fantasies and I never need anything but you and me
GOD…
…………Release
Push PULL
Tug
Sheets .
Rub.
.Scratch.
12345 
CLIMAX

"


Chaotic-Butterfly

(Source: )

http://brelove0669.tumblr.com/post/86182743158/you-see-things-differently-i-can-tell-in-the-way

brelove0669:

  • You see things differently I can tell in the way you write‚Ķ.

-Anonymous Text Received @10:16 pm (5/18/14)

I always go back and read my poems, I re read my diaries every 3 months back to the last 3 months and re read everything every year. Sometimes I‚Äôll flip to a memory that exist or a…

I sat there thinking of all the words to describe you 
I tried to write them down on paper but they didn’t make up your eyes¬†


Like an amber light I crave to look upon your sunset no matter what color they are today or tomorrow


I tried to write them down on paper but they didn’t explain your touch


Soft and firm gentle and rough 
I desire to be fondled by the strokes of your skin, palms, fingertips, 
held by your grip 


I tried to write them down but somehow they never amounted to your smile 
Whisking across your face before I can frown it makes me happy


I want to be your smile 
on gloomy days 
hold your hand when your not okay and pray for your better tomorrow


I’m not afraid
I don’t care what my brain screams¬†
I hear your voice
past the shout in my head screaming what ifs 
and 
what about …


I sat there thinking of all of the words to describe you 
and none of them would do 
besides three.
I love you

(Source: )

"When everything you ever wanted slips through the crevices of your limbs and your heart seems to catch the crumbs
The pieces that nobody wants
Seems like you fell for nothing and no one cares about the brace of your fall"


Chaotic-butterfly