"I’m afraid.
I’m afraid
Of closed spaces
And tight boxes
Of loud noises
And big crowds
Of dirty rooms
And dusty furniture
I don’t like things that are unorganized
I follow routine
& I keep things the way they are
Unless they need to be changed
I don’t like my food to touch
I don’t like to cross silverware
My emotions aren’t clear
My intentions are blunt
You won’t know how I feel behind an action
but you’ll know why I did it
I’m a little paranoid
And a lot of anxiety
I am not a loner
But I enjoy being alone
I’m not the type to cling
Because sometimes that very thing
You are attached to
Weighs you down
But somehow
I don’t mind clinging to you
I don’t mind allowing the last thing on my mind to be your rib cage
The spaces in between your heart beat
I don’t like closed spaces but I wouldn’t mind being caged between your bones
Trapped by the surround sound of your Souls music
The loudness cascading and engulfing me in a tight box
I could stand that
Survivor of my own drowning
In fact I would enjoy it
I wouldn’t mind standing in a large room full of people as long as your arms are around me I’ll feel protected
I’m afraid of mess
But being disordered within your limbs on different surfaces
In the depths of different temperatures
I’m complexed and centered
Sometimes in the moment I feel like water pushing past sand during a tidal wave
Other times I feel like
The sand
Solid beneath still feet and wobbling toes
Everyday is individual
Everyday is breath and sunshine
Everyday is a new page and every night
Is starlight and moonshine
I can see your face with the lights on and off
Imagine your structure
With no hesitation
Taste your Tongue
After kissing you yesterday
And feel your touch from last week
When you pulled me closer to you
In the middle of the night
Reassuring
Your existence
Your presence is always felt
I might not assure you all the time that I love you but hopefully in my smile you know
Your patience is endearing
Not that I am enclosed
You just desire more
So You discombobulate me on a regular basis
Take me to the edge and draw me back in
You test my limits
You want me uncomfortable and exposed
You want me challenged
I like it
Though you scare the hell out of me
Sometimes it takes a little shaking
To be unshaken
It takes a little push
To be unmovable
And damn how I hate to be moved but damn how easy it is for small things to move me
Loneliness is something I’ve dealt with for a very long time
Space allows me to think
Other people talk way to much
And silence is comforting
But it’s different
When I want to sleep
I like to hear your voice
When I’m thinking to much I hear you
Laugh
And when I’m tired
Somehow green yet hazel eyes
Lift and lighten my mood
Relax my shoulders
And then there is small kisses
On my collar bone
Big kisses on my hip bone
And then small kisses on the inside of my thighs
That releases all tension and makes my body shiver at the same time
You find ways to awaken me
Keep me awake
Cause my spirit to dance
Uplift the the hairs on my skin
Cause my fingers to flex and tense lengthen and tighten
In between this thin line of OCD I think I’ve found a cure
It’s loving who I am
Expanding who I want to be
And allowing you to hold my hand
I miss you seconds after your away and no matter how long you stay I still want more so maybe I’m becoming a little clingy
But It’s just because instead of weighing me down
You lift me up
I’m tired of being afraid
So I ask myself
In the best personation of you I can muster,
So Baby What You Afraid Of ?
I don’t understand what you’re afraid of!
DONT BE AFRAID"


Chaotic-Butterfly

(Source: )

"I stayed up late last night
Fiddling my fingers
And picking at the skin on the creases of my fingernails
Thinking of
What we are
Who you are
And if I’m not being enough
We sat underneath moonlight
Facing each other
I’m pretty sure you could only see my eyes
You tried to divulge my being
Bring me to vulnerability
Expose my inner thoughts
I couldn’t
Or
I didn’t want to
You Asked me how people dealt with me
The real answer is
I’m not sure
But I’ll deal with you till you’ve had enough
I stayed up late last night
Fiddling my fingers
And picking at the skin on the creases of my fingernails
Thinking of what we are
Who you are
And if I’m not being enough
Your lips like honey
Sticky and Dewy
Soft and plump
There was something in the saliva on your tongue
Something on your taste buds that yearned for my touch
I loved to listen to your heavy breathing
Centrally located in the air past my lungs
I can feel when your chest caves
I love
When you hover over top of me
When we are to compressed bodies
In a solitary room
With no oxygen
Gathering all we can in the bubbles of the space between us
If any at all
I love
When you overcrowd me
I may complain but once you are away
Loneliness seems to surround me
I love
To Watch your eyes watch me
Close your eyes
You said we could never have the real type of love
But my love is always and forever will be
Real
But I went to sleep late last night tossing and turning
Remembering how you take delight in my flaws
Accept my grumpiness in the morning
Kissing me with my morning breath
And how you love tracing your fingers alongside my curves
You make feel as if I’m enough
But your words pierced me
Am I not being enough
If my past interest you that much
Maybe one day I’ll share
But I like who you know
Who you’ve grown to care for
Though you may catch a glimpse of the girl who falls asleep late at night fiddling with her fingers and picking at the skin on the crease of her fingernails
Wondering of she’s ever going to be enough
With you
I’m enough and
I love being enough for you
I’ll follow through with my promises
I’ll only want to see you smile
I’ll only want to make you happy
No matter where life takes you
I pray that your beyond satisfied
Contentment is a trap that doesn’t deserve your attention
If you feel too relaxed
I’ll challenge you
I’ll dive in the ocean and
Swim back for you
I’m just a poet who takes pride in her inspiration
I don’t need reciprocation
The way feel is how I feel
It’s real
I love you"


Chaotic-Butterfly

(Source: )

"When everything falls
Thunder parading in your chest
Lightning strokes through your veins it’s like you can hear someone telling you to head far left.
I ached in the silence. Of those four walls
Between those sheet
Stained with anger I ached
Bones stinging with passion
I just wanted to be held
I just wanted body heat
And soft kisses
But there was a selfishness in your eyes
A stubbornness taste on your tongue
I could feel the restraint in your essence
If you want to have me have me as I am
When everything falls
It’s like shattered glass in your rib cage
Killing every nerve
I love you
In the silence still
I wanted nothing but you
But I could tell your defiance
Spoke louder than
The kisses
Louder than your heart beat
Louder than the feeling you too desired to be next to me
I was patient
I am patient
But what is a heart beat after the sound has softened the beat has lessoned
A patternless inconsistent drum
I could press my ear against your chest
I could try and surround my brain with the sound
But
I am restless
Passionless
Weak
Collapsing
And exposing
Kaleidoscopic emotions
Puddles of nothingness
I am subdued
Submerged in your heavy breathing
The cracks in the wall
The creaks in the floor
The tapping of my leg
The weight in my belly
When everything falls
Thunder parading in your chest
Lightning strokes through your veins it’s like you can hear someone telling you to head far left.
I ached in the silence.
The crazy thing is
You were right next door
How could you not feel that."


chaotic-butterfly

(Source: chaotic-butterfly)

His eyes like sunset meeting sky
Captivating
His hands like tree branches
Deeply rooted
Firm
How is it
His lips like everything I’ve ever dreamed
Sweet
And beneath his skin
Underneath his bones
His soul.
My mate.

(Source: )

"Caress me between your fingers
Pulsating flesh
Soft skin
Hold me
Between the breeze on my collar bone
And the squeal in my moan
Between your thighs
And the submissiveness in your breathing
Between the sap that tends to seep onto the sheets
My body has missed your body so much
Claw at the cells made to shiver at your touch
Caresses me between your palms
Moist lips
Collapsing motion
Cause me to loose breath
Love me
Endlessly
Love me
Infinitely
Exposed to every flaw
Love me
Make love to me
Explore the unknown
Taste the desired sweetness
Boldly claim your territory
Deep breath
Slowly
Caress me between you limbs
Shaking nerves
My climax is tuned to yours I can feel it in your thrust
I can sense it and smell it in your beads of sweat
And I know when you want me
You want me
In your dreams
In the morning
In the mall
In the car
On the way to the store
On the kitchen counter
On the living room floor
In the shower
On the wall
And in every bed
Your body craves me
And my body needs you
Cancerous or not you’re my
Guilty pleasure
My lovely treasure
I want you you inside of me
Finger
Fingers
Cum
Cumming
Lips
Tongue
Wet
And sticky
Caress me between your fingers
Pulsating flesh
Caresses me between your palms
Moist lips
Caress me between you limbs
Shaking nerves
I want all of you
Until we have exasperated our last breath."


Chaotic-Butterfly

(Source: )

Caress me between your fingers
Pulsating flesh
Soft skin
Hold me
Between the breeze on my collar bone
And the squeal in my moan
Between your thighs
And the submissiveness in your breathing
Between the sap that tends to seep onto the sheets
My body has missed your body so much
Claw at the cells made to shiver at your touch
Caresses me between your palms
Moist lips
Collapsing motion
Cause me to loose breath
Love me
Endlessly
Love me
Infinitely
Exposed to every flaw
Love me
Make love to me
Explore the unknown
Taste the desired sweetness
Boldly claim your territory
Deep breath
Slowly
Caress me between you limbs
Shaking nerves
My climax is tuned to yours I can feel it in your thrust
I can sense it and smell it in your beads of sweat
And I know when you want me
You want me
In your dreams
In the morning
In the mall
In the car
On the way to the store
On the kitchen counter
On the living room floor
In the shower
On the wall
And in every bed
Your body craves me
And my body needs you
Cancerous or not you’re my
Guilty pleasure
My lovely treasure
I want you you inside of me
Finger
Fingers
Cum
Cumming
Lips
Tongue
Wet
And sticky
Caress me between your fingers
Pulsating flesh
Caresses me between your palms
Moist lips
Caress me between you limbs
Shaking nerves
I want all of you
Until we have exasperated our last breath.

(Source: )

"I tried in the stillness of the night
When the sun was trying to break darkness
When My Breathing Was Light
And my Heart Was Heavy
When My body tingled
When my limbs
Flourished with heat and need
I tried
To touch me like my fingers
Were yours
But they didn’t quite
Fit
Feel
or Fill
Me
The Same
-You Tend To Have Control Over Me"


Chaotic-butterfly

(Source: )

And in the midst
I want to be held
Alone at the sound of your pulse
At the strength of your veins
In the center of your heart
And if you can’t promise me
Trust
Adjacent love
And parallel honesty
Perpendicular lines of us
I can no longer give myself
My limbs can no longer be sacrifice
My blood can no longer spill
For what’s left of me must remain
I wish to remain
So I’ll be the one to let go

(Source: )

How many times do I have to spill blood from my lips for you to realize when I say I love you I mean it
I realized that you will never understand the definition of my love until
It has truely left you
Past the ignorance you have of my heart
The unknown scares you
You have decided to coat your unhappiness
Smoke away your pain
And drink away your sadness
But in my veins there is a cure
My lips will only soothe you
But with the blood spilled from my limbs I can only hope
It will show you how important you are
I am here
Waiting for you to open yourself
Flexed palms and separated fingers
I am waiting for you to let go
Stop holding on to past decisions
Run toward the light
It is earths promise.
That you will fly
But only if you believe
Only if you try
Secrets bottled up inside your chest
Why don’t you release your fireflies
Dance with the stars
Light up your sky
And then
Come back to me
Be whole with yourself
Time is being wasted
While you’re
pretending to be someone else
Dear person who I love
Just because I love you does not mean I will allow you to abuse me
Use me as your doormat
Let alone your comfort
Yes my eyes are warm
And yes my touch can sometimes be
Piercing and cold
But if you love me you will express it
With your words
And then stronger your actions
How many times do I have to spill blood from my lips for you to realize
When I say I love you I mean it
Sky diving is like falling in love
Once you have jumped
You have already rendered yourself To a crashing Thrill
You already put your faith in something someone
You will be anxious
Then excited
Then scared
That if faith in the fall
The parachute
The person you love
Is not enough to keep you floating
The crash will kill your body and leave your soul
I can still see you in the grey
But
Colors only seem pretty
When I know you’re out the clouds
And here with me
So until you want to clear the fog
I’ll stay put
I’m not searching for you anymore.

(Source: )

I just want to talk to him
Hear his voice
I just was to hear him say my name.
I wonder if he feels the same.